OXFORD.........

For the last two weeks I have been at the Games with Team Scotland as an ambassador.

This role was a complete honour and to share it with great friends as well as making new friends was probably one of the best two weeks of my life along with London 2012.

I had a pass to go to any sport with the best seats in the house it has giving me memories that will last a life time and that I am very grateful for.

It was somewhat of a strange time for me, as I had to travel to Oxford for results of my last MRI on the first day of competition.

I mentioned about my hands in the last mail and it was going to be a nice to speak with the surgeon about this.

I went into the room and my intuition was telling me that this was going to be a life changing moment.

Within 2min for been in the room my life was about to change again for ever, the surgeon looked at me and said that line no one wants to hear. " I am sorry but the Tumour has returned and if we don't remove it you will be paralysed from the neck down"

So the only option is surgery and then into a intensive rehab program and back onto a bike to continue my dream of riding for GB at the games in Rio and Tokyo. 

It was a long train journey back to Glasgow where i was reminded how grateful we should all be for our health. 

Then into my role at the games as an ambassador, and for two weeks I didn't stop, I used the energy of the games and all the sport to prepare for surgery and stored the special moments in my mind for the long dark hours of rehab that are waiting for me. Those moments of standing listening to the national anthems dreaming it is me on the podium. The games has provided me with the perfect platform to go into surgery and to beat this tumour again. 

It is now time to prepare my body and mind for the fight that is around the corner and like any fighter preparing is mostly mental. In life we are defined by what we do at are lowest and in dark places we find ourselves. It is in these places that the only thing that can defeat you is you. 

keeping mentally strong yet calm and following the processes with a self belief that you will reach your dreams in life is so important to get back from these dark places. 

I am now ready to go to this place and return stronger mentally than I am now with a desire to live life to the full and to inspire people to love life as it is the greets gift we will ever receive.