ITALY WORLD CUP

So I remember watching this move before my surgery and I watch this clip now and again. I guess I watch as it brings me close to what has happened and reminds me to be Grateful and also how my family and friends felt who waited that day, especially my Mum and Dad.

I wanted to share this short video clip with you so you can have an insight into those last seconds before you loose control.

So tomorrow I leave to race in my first World Cup and I can't stop thinking of how lucky I am to be alive and to be riding my bike. 

I have learned to set goals now based on core values rather than purely based on the destination. I find goals act as a compass, they point us in the direction in life, but we must have actions to achieve them and reach that destination. The main value I have is Gratitude. I feel this lets us focus on the processes more than the outcome of our goals, as the outcome is sometimes out of our control, however if we wake up each morning and live for that day giving our passion to our dream by focusing on the process we learn to live for every breath and treasure our health that bit more. 

I remember sitting in the hospital last Tuesday as the surgeon told me that my tumour is something I could have to live with my whole life and that there is not much that can be done apart from surgery at the moment. The last scans showing enhancement of which I pray everyday is scar tissue. 

My goal now is to live, and to live with a passion. My passion is rinding my bike and racing, but in my mind am so scared and cry each time I watch this clip as there is no hiding that part of the tumour is still inside me as the risks of removing it all are to high. 

I now have to get my mind into a place that I will live everyday in the moment and like a sponge soak up the beauty of this world more than ever.

Dream and live your passion with Gratitude. 

Stepping out of the comfort zone

In a world of pain for 42min

Yesterday was probably the hardest day in my sporting life on the World Cup TT course in 34 degree heat. Came 16th which I am sort of happy/disappointed with.
It was a massive step from cycling and rehab to racing these guys. I got smoked but was so proud to ride for GB and it was an amazing feeling with the crowds and closed road. It hurt like hell and Heart rate was 180 average for 42min and peaked at 189bpm. Now very motivated to get home and work hard to find what I need to compete at this level.

I am going to pin the result page to my wall so I see it every night and morning to remind what I am searching for and how much I want it.
This was about learning and discovering where I am 7 months on from surgery.