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Today has been tough, not just the hard session on the velodrome, not that this time last year I had come out of surgery and was lying not able to stand. Left lying there I had everything to look forward to and strive for both on and off the bike. 


The hardest thing today which I can not get out of my mind no matter how hard I try is this 8mm.. It has been a few weeks now since I found out about the re growth and the 8mm of hope I have. 


As I went round the velodrome the thought crept into my mind and on the drive home it hit me. It hit me how much I love what I do and am so grateful for this 8mm. However as I close my eyes tonight I am also more scared than I have ever been. I am scared as I know no matter how hard I train this can all be taken away from me when I go to see my surgeon in March. I know I should not worry about it, but I can not help it, I know March is ages away and till then I will love everyday of my life and I hope I can get the worry out of my mind. 


I have been overwhelmed from the support and have read every email and also thank you for all the tips people send, I am trying them all..... Sorry if I have not managed to reply to each email, training has been hard and to be honest I have been struggling knowing that I face more surgery. I have found myself waking up at 3/4am and all I can think about is walking through those surgery doors again and then cry myself back to sleep....


This 8mm fight is going be a hard one and it means the world to have so much support and I will give it everything to make the World Champs in March.....


What is your Gratitude list this week?


mine are: 

              1. Having so many amazing people in my life who support me through

              2. Having my sight so I can see how beautiful the world is

              3. Having my hearing so I can listen to music 

david smith