MRI TO 10TT

After a hard winter training it was time to enter my first 10mille TT. I found myself however back in Oxford on the 14th for the 5 month MRI with contrast to check that all is ok with my spinal cord and no sign of any tumour.

The last scans at the end of 2013 showed that the scar tissue had growing, so I was a little scared of these scans. Each time you go for the MRI it brings back all the memories of the first time you ever lay in the scanning machine and the first time the Doctor walked in and told me what they had found. On the drive to the hospital I could taste the contrast before it had even been put in me, I hate the stuff but know it is pretty important. Before I knew it I was walking along the corridor toward the MRI unit.

This day in my life stops, you will go about your daily life as per normal, but for this moment my whole life stops, nothing else matters as time feels like it has stopped and your in a different world. 

You lay onto the MRI machine and then have your head clamped and slowly moved into the machine before the first few images are done. There is lots of noise and you can not move, however this is the best part. After that you have the IV put into you and then the contrast dye put into your body which carries lots of its own risks, and recent research coming out advises only have this if it is an absolute necessary. 

So scan day leaves you feeling pretty wiped and sometimes brings a tear to your eye with emotions running through your mind. This is such a rare tumour there really is not many answers out there for all the things that go on in your body before and after surgery.

This is a moment of mixed emotions. One of Gratitude for having such a fulfilling life and another of fear of what if and the memories of surgery and Rehab.

Before you know it your in the machine and the next 50min of your life is one of the unknown. Your mind drifts to thoughts of life and dreams.

I like to think I always come out of the MRI a better person and with more Gratitude. Racing the night after was probably not the wisest moves but I found myself with Big Jon at a road race in Lancaster where I had to drop out after 45min as I was totally burnt out.

Then the TT. My first ever time trial race, I was looking forward to the mental challenge of the pain and the enjoyment of been out on the bike racing against the clock and other cyclists. You feel a bit strange as you have a space looking helmet on a skin tight suit, I can only imaging what the people are thinking as they drive past. it was a great feeling though back racing and leaving the memory of the scan back in Oxford with the sole focus on going faster.

DISCOVERING NEW PATHS

Gratitude is the most powerful trait we can all posses and something lots of us never use.

Appreciating lives free gifts,

When you awake in the morning and open your eyes, jump out of bed and into the shower of hot running water followed by good food before stepping outside. Look at the sky, don’t just think oh its raining or its sunny, but how amazing the world we live in is. Look at the clouds, the Colours and the sounds of nature, breath in the fresh air and tell your self you will live today like its your 1st and last day on the planet. 

Open your heart to the gifts we are giving by nature that so many people will never experience like drinkable water and be grateful. Be grateful for the best gift you could ever be giving. LIFE. 

Through an appreciation of the simple things we find contentment, a total opposite to the trait of needing more and more things to be happy. The world we live in tells us we must strive for bigger houses, better cars or Designer clothes to make us happy.  We get caught up in the whirlwind that is life, and loose track of the simple things that once made us happy. 

Being Grateful for your health re centre your mind and body to this whirlwind. It lets us see that what we really want is already in front of us. So many things we take for granted in life others around the world never even experience. 

"When we step back and notice what is great in our lives we begin to simply live in the moment

DECEMBER 2013

Discovering new paths

Thank you for the support of Glenfidich, it has aloud me to train and also cycling in some pretty cool looking kit this summer. As an athlete it is always nice when people believe in you and support your dream, and I am very much in debt to those people who believe in me and support me. Glenfidich have been amazing this summer and giving me the chance to keep training and making the change of sport slightly easier. 

I have enjoyed pushing my boundaries on such a great bike. I could not have managed to get such a bike without there help, so a massive thank you to them.

I have also been busy with speaking and sharing my journey, I always feel very humbled when asked to speak and even more so when people tell you that they are inspired by what you do. I never thought I would have that effect on someone, but knowing you can inspire someone is the most humbling thing you can ever be told and I just want to say to those people who sit and listen to my journey, thank you for your time and support, it really does mean the world and anything I do in the future is for all those people who have supported and giving up there time to listen to my journey, I hope I can continue to inspire you. 

As my journey changes and I set new dreams and goals I like anyone will meat challenges and experience failure. It is these moments that make us who we are.

I have a dream and I will never give up on it, this means lots of painful sessions and times where doubt will come into my mind on if it is possible. So what do I tell myself in these moments. I look to athletes, people who inspire me, people who fight and never sit back on their dreams and I get strength from them.

I had the chance to try a 3min power test on the SRM and I thought I could give it more, but on the day I hurt and my body didn't do what I wanted from it. I learned a lesson of how my mind and body can sometimes let me down. I had not really trained for this but that is no excuse, I wanted more from my legs and on this day they didn't give me what I wanted. 

So what do I do now? I came home and went out on my bike and punished myself for not been strong enough during that 3min test. I will train harder, smarter and I will go back and perform to the level I know I can. I dont mean that in a bad, or arrogant way, but in a way that I know I will work like never before in pursuit of my new dream, no matter how hard it is on my body and mind. I will fight for it and push every second when I am training with that single focus on what is my new dream.